garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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