He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
