hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
