Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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