Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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