i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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