She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
