I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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