hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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