No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
