So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
