fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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