Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize