Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
