I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
