porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
