Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
