But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
