I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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