My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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