ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
