i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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