Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
