My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
