yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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