You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
