Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
