i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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