We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize