Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
