Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
