Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
