Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Randomize
