just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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