I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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