I cockslap morals
...so i touched it.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
