I wish I only lived at night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
