is this the sara with the beer cane?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
