Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
