I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
