My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
