Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
