i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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