dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize