And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
