All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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