your parents love me but you hate me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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