ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
