If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
