it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
