Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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