The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
