He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
