Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
