you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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