sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
