The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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