if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
