so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
