They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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