I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
