wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
