READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
