That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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